swinger

little sitter

holiday cheer

what a splendid day we had! we decided to take a drive up the blackfoot river to find christmas trees, montana style. my childhood memories of getting a tree involved going to big corner lots, probably in shorts and a tee shirt, and finding the best tree, spending oodles of money on it, and then returning to our house to decorate. hilary and i loved to take all of our special ornaments our of the christmas box- we had the peanuts gang and hello kitty and my melody and all sorts of other fairly dated ceramic pieces. we also had the oh so fabulous ones we made in school with our school pictures on them. i remember around adolescence never wanting the ornament that i made in girl scouts in the fourth grade to go up on the tree because that was the year i had really dorky pink rimmed glasses and a god awful bowl cut. vanity even made it's way to the xmas tree! these memories are so strong and so vivid, that i never really imagined creating my own. my childhood experience was just so very different to the kind of experience i had today, it's funny to think i was essentially doing the same thing - honoring the season and welcoming tradition.

so we headed up in bobby and joellen's family van, stopped on some little road, and began to amble about in the crunchy snow, looking for the perfect tree. jeff found ours, the sunlight was shining on it just so, and it called our name. it was then that i realized i had never really used a saw. so i pulled eliana out of the ergo, handed her to her papa, grabbed the saw and had the honor of chopping our sweet little tree down (so sorry tree!). we then hauled all our goods back into town and spent the rest of the day together, decorating, and generally enjoying this lovely season. eliana loves her tree and while we don't have much in the way of decorations, it is simply perfect as is! as i type this, jeff and eliana are asleep, and all the lights are out except for the colored little twinkly lights on the tree. the conical tree shape is reflected in the front window of our house and i feel so cozy and filled with good feelings. i imagine that as people drive by our little casita, they'll see the tree in the window and smile, thinking of the sweet family inside. i'm even listening to sarah mclaughlin sing 'silent night'. "sleep in heavenly peace" has never rung so true.

friday night

well it's another friday night in the heart of the holiday party season. it's nine forty one. and i'm home. with baby bucket. alone. while i know, completely, that she is so young and so needed by me and only me every evening...i think i felt the loss of the old days tonight. last friday night when we were at yet another xmas party that i left early (well, me and the little lady), i didn't feel too bummed. i was all about her bedtime and being the best mama i can be, etc., etc. but tonight, i felt a twinge of my old self, and felt the loss of not being able to hang for as long as i wanted. perhaps it's because i've been to this particular party for a few years running and have swell memories of rocking out. maybe it's because they have a particularly good spread of free snacks and good wine. perhaps it's because the town was a buzz tonight with lots of things i wanted to check out. yet here i am, blogging, sadly, on a friday night. jeff is still out and, i guess, who can blame him. he's not so needed here and one of should be having fun. and i did belt out my show tunes to the little one like it was nobody's business. i mean, i tried to make the most of our night together once we got home. but i have that urge, that bug, like it would kinda be fun to still be out, still be gabbing, enjoying another glass of that lovely, free wine, catching up with folks i haven't seen in ages. maybe next year.

the groove

even with our busy schedule, we always try to fit in a bath. little peach loves the water just like her mama!

this week i'm feeling like i'm getting into the groove, finally, really, of my new life. i have been working on balance this week. a key to my success is exercise. not just slow walks around the park with baby (all thirteen lbs of her!) attached to my chest, but real, sweat and stink kinda exercise. the other night i told jeff to hang with elie, and i went down to our basement and rocked my own little yoga session for about forty five minutes. i blasted my tunes, lit some candles, and did sun salutations til my heart pumped and i felt the stress and anxiety of the day slowly dissipate. last night i returned to my girlfriends "roots of hip hop" class. even though i couldn't stay for the whole thing (already meeting jeff and elie at 8:15 was pushing it and she cried the whole way home), i did an hour of solid, hard stuff. lots of the ab stuff that i couldn't do when i first returned to dancing, i could do last night! even though i am not my old self completely (while i don't have a scale, i sense there are about 10 to 15 pounds just hanging on to my middle for dear life!), i felt strong and solid and beautiful. eliana has been nothing but sweet sauce lately. i think she respects her mama for trying to take care of herself. we are at another friday. only two weeks til our holiday vacation when we head back down to sunny cali. for now, i'm just trying to enjoy every moment with my girl and make the most of all we have.

early morning dancer

big stuff

so i know i sound like a broken record, but this little baby is just growing up so fast! now when she's in her swing, she grabs all sorts of stuff off her tray, hurls her little body forwards and backwards, blows little spit bubbles at the wind, and tries, valiantly, to hold a conversation with her mom. in the tub she stares down her rubber ducky like a gangsta. instead of merely sitting in her bouncy seat, she tries to stand, tries to grab and eat the little dragonflies that dance on the bonnet-like hood. she is always moving now. she wiggles and squirms and helps push her little lets into her outfits. she even bangs her head every now and then like a real baby cries for thirty seconds, and then is back at it. her parents are madly in love with her and can't stop talking about all the new tricks she's bringing into our home. here is a little clip of her dancing to the morning radio alarm. watch the way she hurls herself around!