moving into the new

It's been a huge week. I finally put the pictures I've taken in the few weeks since I've had my rockin' new phone up on the computer. Just taking in these end of summer memories makes me almost catch my breath. Overnight we went from summer revelry to school and day-care. Packing lunches, long meetings. Intense brain activity. Absolute exhaustion on all our parts at bedtime. It's wild, this teacherlyscheduled life. Such sudden shifts.

So the pictures give me some structure for where to take this. There have been such a spectrum of emotions that I've been feeling lately. But they don't feel as raw as they once did. I've been here before. We do this in the fall. We do school and daycare and drop-off and pick-up. Last year it was all so new. It feels nice to be a bit seasoned. I think I'm getting a little tougher in my old age. A teeny bit less sentimental. Interesting to notice.

But back to the dog days...

Luxurious, warm evenings in the vineyard.

A visit from our dear friend, Geoff, here from the wilds of New York City. I love the way certain people fall effortlessly into the rhythm of our family. So wish he could have stayed, watched the wildfires blaze a few more days. Having friends visit you on their vacation keeps you perpetually on vacation with them. My first float in a tube since Solomon's birth was with Geoff down the Clark Fork. Ah, the ridiculous leisure of it all.

A follow up float came with the arrival of Hilary and the Lineage girls. We spent an intense part of our time in the studio where I somehow mustered up the moxie to join them for a performance. So good to re-connect with my dancerly self. So good to participate whole heartedly in art for art's sake. And to have my two BFF's on the mike with their ridiculous harmonies, and my sister out there with her insane skill, my biggest fans and gorgeous girls in the audience. It was a special night.

Soaking my torn muscles in an inner tube the next day was pretty fun too.

But the true pulse to this now is my two little ones. I feel like I've come full circle this summer. For all my rantings about sameness, my frustration with homogeneity, my exhaustion and overwrought-ness with being a working mother of two, I am thoroughly and intensely in love with being a mama in Missoula. This place is gentle. Dropping Sol off at daycare on the west side felt like a big schlep across town. Yet it takes me five minutes and I've found a route that involves only one stoplight. It's so no big deal. And knowing that Sol is so ready to be there, watching him shuffle about with his new cronies, knowing how she'll love on him so intensely - having watched her with Eliana. It's a good scene. One I'm feeling prepared for.


Yes he cried when I left. Yes I cried too. But I took a deep breath, turned up the radio, and had faith that he would be so very fine. He's ready for this. Ready to spread his wings a bit. And it felt good to sit in that first meeting. To feel my brain shift back into teacher gear. To get excited about big ideas and goals and objectives. Books and words and learning styles.

The beauty is, at the end of the day, we all come back together. Eliana is so in love with her brother these days. She's been joining me in daycare pick-up. She bursts up the walk and in the door. She told me in the car the other day, Mom, I just love him so much! I love my brother more than anyone because I'm his only sister. He's mine.




They are the two most incredible beings. So funny and vibrant and expressive. So instead of mourning my time away from them, I want to celebrate our time together. Instead of missing the unstructured laziness of summer, I want to embrace the creative energy of fall. I need to go into this with grace. With a bit of seasoned style. Confidence. Faith.

Deep breath.

So let's do it.