Thursday, March 29, 2012

and then

And then it's time to pick yourself up, at least a bit. It's not easy. My darkness is deep and it loves an excuse to ruminate. Yet my brightness is effervescent, loves to leap, even has dimples. So we play this game, me and me.

I just had to have something new on this goofy blog of mine. So here. Something new. We hit the road manana for another much deserved, much earned, ever epic, Kessler vacation. On the road for Seattle after school and then hop a way early flight to our favorite little Mexican town. Then it's sun and sea and long, indulgent days, us together, us present, all day, every day. I'll continue to work on integrating the dark and light, giving myself time for music and journal-fests, but trying to control the consumption that has been this death over the past two weeks. I really, really loved him. And he's gone. He's been gone from my world for a long time. It's still hard.

All Soli said this afternoon was, "Ocean!" He knows what he wants. Eliana is a bit more complex; an amazing, intense, nutty piece of work who seems to have a bit of her mother's dark/light duality happening. Lord help us. We generally do well when we're away from it all. Let's breathe in deep and stay focused on our blessings.

1 comment:

Arpi Misha said...

It's ok. It's going to be a journey. It won't go away any time soon. It burns. It hurts. It changes forms. Just know that you aren't alone. We love you.