may first

I think May first acquired a new significance for me after Sol was born.  He was due today.  I was so, so ready for him to come today.  I hiked the heck out of the mountain today.  Took in the open smiles of the arrowleaf balsamroot.  Hoofed and pushed and pulled my feet up that trail.  To no avail.

I've felt scattered and unsettled today.  The weather is all over the place.  I'm all over the place.   Wondering what to do for Solomon's birthday.  Do we keep the party we planned with the rain and all or just bag it, reschedule, plan for a day when there's sunshine?  But I'm such a sentimental puppy, all about the actual Day Of.  It's all silly right now.  It will happen the way it's supposed to happen.  I so don't ever say that kind of thing.  I probably should. 

We had a hunker down, home sort of weekend.  The kids are so into one another right now.  So into me.  So into Jeff.

 

So into whose getting the most attention.  Sol and I fell into this goofy routine the other evening. I was on my knees in the kitchen (not sure why...).  He would run to the far wall as fast as he could, then run towards my open arms, jump on my knees and melt into my chest, open mouth kissing my nose.  It was awesome.  After a few runs I thought to myself, wow!  It's just the two of us.  This is one of those special moments without his....and before I could even finish my thought, in she came:   
I want you to do that to me!  It's my turn to do that!  Soli, it's my turn, get out of the way.  MOM!  He's not getting out of the way.  

Ah, the precocious older child.

 

So she did some wall to knee runs.  They took some turns.  The moment had shifted just as it should. Just, perhaps, like the birthday party plans. 


But before I try to take it down a notch in the bath, here's what I need to say about Solomon.  The little guy that I love to remind is almost a birthday boy.  He's soulful. He's honest.  He's hysterical.  He's physical.  He's strong.  He's a lover.  He's an explorer.  He's a goofball.  He's a snuggler.  He's still my baby.  But he's really a boy.

He's almost two.