Eliana's fifth

My girl and I had a really good day.  We woke to boxes of gifts from Gran -- a "real" violin, dancing scarves, a play computer, a dress up necklace.  Really, the gifts could have stopped right there.  She was so content to go through them all right there in our little bed, our quiet morning. 
 
From there it was pancakes and playtime, cake making followed by impromptu bathing when the two funnies found themselves covered in cake batter.  Els and I dropped Sol off at Gussie's so we could really break it down.  I realized last night, upon falling to sleep, that I had no gift for Eliana.  She has not been a child who has needed anything, ever.  Months before her birth the karma of giving found her way into Eliana's life.  She has more clothes, toys and patio furniture than any child could need.  And, beautifully enough, I have paid for very little of it.

That said, it seemed appropriate that for her fifth birthday, her mama take her shopping.  So...gulp...we headed to the...mall.  The mall is not exactly a place that I frequent.  I'm not exactly a mall girl.  But I'll tell you what.  That made it all the more special.  Eliana and I lurk around downtown all the time.  But to go the extra mile to go to the mall -- the mall mile -- well, let's just say it felt special.

The goal was a new birthday dress (20 or under) and the pick of one new toy (20 or under).  Within minutes of entering the automatic doors, the dress fell into our lap.  At 70% off, no less.  With rhinestones and polka dots.  It's rad.  I brushed my hands together and we headed to The Learning Tree to find The Toy.  This wasn't as easy.  As I mentioned, Els has a lot of great stuff and needs nothing.  She had already told me that she wouldn't look at any doll houses because she really didn't need them.  She's really into need versus want right now.  She loves to tell Soli, you don't need your banjo, Sol, you just want your banjo.  You don't really need it at all. 

Homegirl certainly didn't need anything in The Learning Tree. She ended up with a few new Berstein Bear books and a really soft stuffed tiger.  Need versus want.  I'll take some books and a stuffed animal any day.  Good pick, Sister Bear. 


Then it was birthday lunch.  She had her pick of spots.  She picked Iza, probably for the boba tea and gummy worms that come with the kids bento box.  I was psyched though.  And we had such a sweet and civilized meal.  I can't wait til her brother can be civilized in a restaurant.  He's a Neanderthal.  But that's a story for another time.  Lord is he insane.

So we went and picked up the Wild One from his buddy's place and laid him to sleep.  At which point we went into cake decorating mode.  And then mama went into party planning crazy mode and wild cleaning maniac mode.  Eliana, thankfully, got really into her Disney Princess Polly Pockets.  She's particularly proud of the fact that she can now change their outfits.  Now that's she's five.  Now that's she's five she's also obsessed with the size of all her clothing.  Mama's gonna be cutting some tags out this weekend.  It's five T or bust around here. 

In the blink of an eye it was party time.  In fact, I laughed at myself as I drove towards the party site at two fifty two, as her party was to begin at three.  Thankfully this is Missoula and people are chronically late.  We unloaded way too much food and way too many dress up clothing and set up shop at Pineview.  Eliana's buddies quickly arrived and they became lost in the chaos of parks and parties and princesses and sidewalk chalk.  Before I knew it, it was time for cake (and ten thousand cupcakes, as the case may be).  Somewhere towards the end of, "Happy Birthday" we realized (well, to be totally honest, Jeff realized), that the birthday girl's brother was not among us.  So after passing out a dozen plus cupcakes, I coolly began to case the park.  On the periphery of the park there is a trail, barely beyond the trail, a creek.  Thank God Jeff headed straight to the creek.  While I was lurking somewhere out by the soccer field, Jeff found my son happily playing in the creek.  All alone.  Way, way far away from the rest of the party.

He was covered in dirt, wet and happy.  I had my heart in my mouth.  Jeff looked like he was going to puke.  Only a few of my guests had any clue what was going on.  Casey and Leslie hugged me.  They'd been looking for Sol too.  I was thankful for my dear old friends in that moment.  The girls I've always been so vulnerable with. 

The party continued on.  Eliana got her groove back, as she had suffered from a bit of the birthday girl who is totally overwhelmed and prone to emotional fits of madness, earlier in the festivities.  Nothing like a few cupcakes to restore equilibrium.  Our guests began to make their way back into their summer.  We cleaned and hauled loot and half eaten cheese platters back to the car. 

Eliana had wanted to go out for a sushi dinner after her party.  This was The Plan.  Eliana is really into The Plan.  So we stopped by the house to unload aforementioned cheese platters and left over cupcakes.  Sol was screaming, "I want sushi!" at the top of his lungs while Eliana was obsessing over which new toy she was going to play with next.  Jeff and I were giving each other exasperated looks of pity/exhaustion/frustration as we walked back and forth in the heat between the car and the house.  At which point I looked at Eliana and said, "Are you sure you want to get sushi?"

"Um, mom, actually, I just want to play with my fairies and my new Polly Pocket.  Can you, like, make me a burrito or something?"

Finally.  The voice of reason.  We came inside.  Sol switched his yell from wanting sushi to wanting Polly Pocket.  Little dynamo has not only found his stride, he's found his voice.  And I have new hearing aides.  And he's really, really loud. 

But here we are.  The house is dark and quiet.  New books have been read.  Over-stimulated children are finally asleep.  The counters wiped down for the fifteenth time today.  I could hit the keyboard with my forehead, I'm suddenly that sleepy. But the tale has been told.  The tale of the five year old girl with the golden curls and the incredible words.  The tale of the toddler who wandered to the creek, alone and unattended, in the middle of the birthday song.  The tale of the mom and dad who celebrate their eighth wedding anniversary tomorrow, whose lives are bursting with growing children and aging parents, weddings and dinners and friends, old and new.  The mom and dad whose lives burst open this day, five years ago.
 The way she flew from my body.  The sudden summer rain.  Red sheets.  Her new skin on my chest.  The absolute beginning of this whole new world.