Monday, April 20, 2009

fakin' bacon


My daughter is an actress. And a faker. And a complex, hilarious, exhausting nut. With another earache, another fever, and a new round of antibiotics. And we're all alone for the next week. But I'll do my best not to gripe.

Where to begin? Eliana is totally learning how to fake me out. She is a drama queen (can you believe that?) and everyday she seems to be working to further hone her craft. She is caught between being this totally independent, headstrong goofball and being a needy little monkey girl who won't let me put her down. She's decided she doesn't need to eat, but knows that a great way to get out of the crib at bedtime is to ask for food. The more specific the culinary request, the more impressive the response from her gullible mama. She is such a sneak.

Tonight I made her a "milkshake", thinking that this might be a way to get some calories into her. I put about ten things in the blender including basmati rice (grains?) some pureed carrots, lots of banana and frozen yogurt. She was digging doing, "cheers" with me (I was not drinking the "milkshake", I might add - thankfully it was after five and I could rationalize the chardonnay). We were sitting on the lawn in the sunshine, smiling, clicking our glasses. I would take another sip of wine and she would take a huge guzzle of milkshake, complete with gulping noises and a bit of an, "ah" sound at the end. We did this again and again. I started to feel a bit loopy. I also started to realize that the line of milkshake that was showing through her sippy cup was not going down. She was totally fake chugging her drink. And she managed to get me to believe her.

"You are fakin' bacon, Els Bells!"
"Cheers, Mama!"
"You are fakin'!"
"Cheers, Mama?"
"Fakin' Bacon!"
"Airplane, Mama! Clouds! Sun! Moon! Birds! Cheers!"

She smiled a smile that told me that she knew that I knew she was a phoney. I'll give her credit for being clever. And keeping her mama laughing, even when things are wildly unpredictable.

2 comments:

Melissa said...

oh my. i am scared of toddlerhood. but i love hearing about it, especially the way you tell it. more of the same explore/run back to the base thing, hmm? and how long does it last, exactly? it's the spontaneous clinginess that drives me nuts.

the beauty of parenthood.

where is jeffrey?

Melissa said...

and is this how we talk now? trading comments on blogger? i don't accept. i must come to missoula with my brood . . .i am scheming.