san pancho

I sit here with a chill in my bones, looking out at the snow covered valley I call home. There's so much to say about our time away, time that feels far and fleeting already. I'm drawing on lessons re-learned in Mexico, lessons on slowing down, taking rests, noticing, to help me find perspective on the massive piles of laundry that need to be done, all those darn things that need to find their homes again. Whenever we come home from a trip I marvel at all the stuff we have. Vacation is a purge on so many levels. We learn how little we really need. That we really just need each other.

It can all wait. I can settle down. For now, notes on an amazing time.

I'll start with a journal entry. It seems to give shape to my mind full of memory.

So here I am, week two of our splendid Mexican adventura. I've settled into vacation mode pretty hard. It's fun to go over the decompression, now that I've thoroughly decompressed. At first we're still all coiming down, each bite is novel, each burro wandering down the cobblestones and loud ola something to marvel at. I still move too fast. Do wild, rockin' yoga sessions, grip the cobblestones, play with the residual energy that courses through me. Fret when Sol doesn't sleep enough, still short on patience with Els. Not overt enough in my affection for Jeff.

Then I watch myself settle. Lose complete track of time. Let Sol settle into luxurious beach siestas on my sandy chest, see Els curls tighten into sprightly, slinky-like ringlets, enjoy each wild utterance from her loquacious mouth. And how she's embraced this place! Makes friends with everyone, everywhere. Sang all her best Spanish school songs for Pondo the Mexian fisherman, practiced her kicks in a round of beach soccer with a friendly local family on Christmas, found herself eating her first candy cane when she settled in with the gay boys on the beach, shiny red speedos, Santa hats, greasy, smooth chests. A good life we're living! Saw ballenas and dolphins from the fishing boat, just watched 'em dance and leap and smack their huge fins. As Colleen noticed, just watched 'em pass on by, watched them navigate through the immense blue of their day to day. What else? I cooked a rockin' Christmas dinner for twelve - pork roast in a balsamic, molasses reduction, flan from scratch. No stress, utter enjoyment. That's big. I've had lots of beautiful time with my husband and kiddos, my extended family and friends. I'v ewatched la hora de feliz get progressively easier, read books, eaten numerous delicious fish tacos, watched the sunrise and the sunset with my trusty boy attached to me, our slow saunters to and from sleep, in and out of varying levels of consciousness. He's ready to walk, that one. So strong. Not even eight months and standing up on everything, ready to get his toothless, sloppy grin into all sorts of shenanigans. My children make me so proud. That's such a wonderful feeling. The way Eliana delivers joy to those around her. The way she loves fiercely, playfully, calls everyone by name. Her buddies. You can find 'em everywhere. And my beautiful husband. The way he takes care of everyone. Rocks his new favorite sport, waits for waves in his own, zen like way. I am so thankful to have had so much lovely, calm, appreciative time with him. We're a unit, working together, consistently, constantly, adoringly.

So that's a pretty thorough re-cap. I'll let the pictures guide some more memories and let go of a need for perfection.
The only pic I have of the four of us, packed, Mexican style, in the back of Jack's jeep.






The San Pancho Synergia Arte festival provided Eliana with a local carousel and local buddies to ride with.
Nothing like watching baby sea turtles head to the ocean to give some much needed perspective on the importance of each shining moment of this life.


A defininte highlight was watching Eliana in the pool. She was so proud of her newfound, floaty independence.Big Sol and his amazing grin, his strong sturdy legs, his adventurous spirit!


The amount of time sweet Sol and I spent attached. The number of tortillas he consumed with his gummy little chompers.

Watching the family all together, the generations, the laughter.


Our very unique Christmas, our sweet fake tree, our gratitude garland.





Our other family...

My children growing into their sibling-hood...


While I'm thankful for all the photos, no picture can capture how important this vacation was for me. I feel like I've been in a chaotic fog since school started. Being away gave me a chance to find myself again. I really like the girl who was in Mexico. She's funny and relaxed and grounded. She's capable and kind and creative. She rolls with it. My goal for myself in this new year is to try to keep that spirit alive and rockin' every day. Even when I'm exhausted. Even while I answer forty seven random questions coming from the brilliant minds of third graders. Even when my daughter is wrought with exhaustion and pushing all my buttons. Or my guy wakes for the third time in the night. Or my dog incessantly paws at me. The mess in the house mounts...

I will draw on those waves. The long walks. Floating on my back. Smiling in awe at my husband as we watch our children play. Thank you, San Pancho. Thank you for giving us a break.