deep ground

Deep ground is quiet and focused.  Her feet are rooted fully, each step clear and deliberate.  Deep ground knows exactly what she has to do.  She is in the moment and wholly present.  She works hard and appreciates that time to think beyond herself, beyond her family.  She then turns back to them; snacks and dinner and bath and books.  Impromptu games of baseball hockey, twisty swing, monkey bars, hide and go seek.  Deep ground gravitates towards pockets of sunlight, holds still, looks up.  She busts Amos Lee and Indigo Girls Pandora, earthy and soulful with just a hint of road trip reminiscence.

Deep ground is not always here, so I welcome her with my whole self when she comes to visit.  Her husband is away again and she feels it's much easier to appreciate her time alone when her mind is clear and focused.  Deep ground doesn't plan the way her other selves do.  She isn't sneaking in a wine date with friends after bedtime or a yoga class at six am.  She can't.  So instead she tears through novels and wakes up early, extra content for the quiet time in the half dark. 

Deep ground loves her husband with her whole self.  She's worked through the levels of resentment and envy that come from watching his professional successes and knowing that she could have, perhaps, had some similar opportunities.  But she chose shorter days, long afternoons nursing and listening to love songs, strolling dreamily around the park with small babes, the clarity of focus as each change unfolds. 

They speak on the phone at night, the warm air and gentle waves at his doorstep, the cool March wind and opening earth on hers.  She reminisces about their adventures together.  How they used to see the world at every opportunity, hop a plane to an unknown locale, watch and savor and move slow, forming sentences in different languages, tasting and hearing and breathing in the new. 

This is a bit like life with children.  Extensive travel.  The wildly shifting journey, each new moment, each landmark, something to hold fast. 

Deep ground is proud she's found an analogy.  Perhaps that's what makes it feel so calm right now.  Right now, this journey is her only choice.  She's gonna go with it.