the pink happiness

My kids had a poetry reading tonight at a local bookstore, Shakespeare and Company. I was such a tuckered out chica before the big event. Eliana and I were lying chest to chest on the sofa, reading books, spacing out on Baby VanGogh, loving, and I couldn't imagine why I ever thought that planning a poetry reading (for fun, mind you) for a bunch of seven and eight year olds the day before spring break was a remotely reasonable idea. When I finally peeled myself and my sweetheart off of the sofa, I realized I had lingered way too long. Inevitably, this is when I realized Els had soaked through her pants, was hungry, needed her whole outfit changed, etc., etc. I, in turn, put on real lipstick instead of colored chapstick, brushed my hair into a smoother ponytail, and forgot about my earlier notions of wearing something more festive and poet like to the event. I hustled out in my down coat and clogs, the kids books and microphone and art projects and music stand shoved into my little car.

It seemed I had barely placed the last chair on the floor when the kids and their parents started piling into the shop. Again, I wondered why I had this ridiculous idea in the first place. I watched the kids, all gussied up and a mess of nervous energy and excitement, spill around me. When it was time for me to take the mic and begin the show, Eliana started crying. My voice amplified, talking to a small room full of big people, totally ignoring her, was not her scene. I felt that flustered pull, tried to give Jeff the, get-her-the-heck-outta-here-evil eye, and continued speaking. While trying to retrieve the keys in my jacket that was, of course, in the back of this crammed, skinny room, Jeff passed me Elie.

She immediately stopped crying. She put her little arms around my neck while we watched my first little shining star read her insanely raw, gorgeous poetry. I stood there, my daughter's arms around my neck, my kids pouring their hearts out into the mic, and felt one of those moments of total wholeness. She wanted to be a part of my scene. I love that.

We wear lots of hats, us busy working mamas. I just read my friend Nici's kickin' post about all we do in our wild, often harried, never dull, lives. Her words are so in sync with my life right now. The sweetness of each moment, the depth and variety and honesty and integrity behind each act that somehow equals a day.

I was so proud of my students tonight. They are such brave and courageous souls. When one little girl read her line about, "the pink happiness" of her life, I thought about all the pink happiness that surrounds this time in my life. It's like one enormous, packed, shimmering pink happiness.