solo style

Els and I are hanging solo style for the next four days. And as in love as I am with my husband right now and as much as I know that I'm going to miss him to pieces, well, there's a certain simple beauty in being the one and only for your tyke. She's now been asleep for about three hours and I've picked my day's worth of pie cherries, pit every last one of those suckers, and made both savory and sweet dishes to bring to my friend's party tonight. I've watered the yard with a zen like focus, making sure to reach even the furthest points. I've talked on the phone, checked my email, made my bed, matted and framed a new print for my bedroom (I have this new found obsession with my bedroom that resembles that of a thirteen year old girl), cleaned the kitchen.

And now I just hang. Because it's always great to be lead back to the precious present. And waiting to be the one and only for my little honey is such sweet anticipation.

All the partying and shenanigans of last week landed homegirl with another ear infection. Not that we would have known if she hadn't had her two-year old "well" child visit. While she was a bit out of sorts a few days earlier, we thought she was just tired. There are, perhaps, only so many birthday parties a two year old can go to before she simply just can't be social. We blamed the heat for her sour mood and clingy ways.

The next morning we asked Eliana how she was feeling.
"I feel great!" she responded.
So we stopped worrying about it. Perhaps we're over-relying on the articulate nature of our girl.

Anyhoo, when the doctor checked out her right ear she was alarmed at how red it was.
Ugghhh.

As if we mama's don't blame ourselves enough. I am a particularly excelled guilt glutton. I've been honing my craft for thirty-five years and even have the ability to feel guilty for things completely unrelated to me.

But get your child and her health in the mix, and you can damn near make yourself feel absolutely horrible. This is her fourth ear infection since Christmas. Because I am of the hearing impaired sort, anything involving the ears of my child is of even more paramount importance to me. Jeff and I left the doctor's office feeling deflated. We began to play the blame game, mainly blaming ourselves for pushing Eliana to do too many things.

Too many terrible things like birthday parties or playdates or camping trips or hikes or river rock throwing or bike riding or any other number of beautiful day-to-days that we experience over here in these parts.

So, when you look at it like that, like a full and beautiful life, it's hard to harp for too long. But what it is forcing us to do, though, is hunker down a bit. Hang at home. Limit all the excitement that comes with hanging with the 'lil homies. Go to bed on time.

You know.
Pick a bowl of cherries.