thanksgiving

The snow is wild this morning. I'm sitting here in this beautiful, quiet kitchen. Sol is asleep and Eliana is playing quietly in her room. The snow continues to fall. A squirrel in the big ash shakes the branches, a powdery, sprinkly clump falls. Jeff is at Snowbowl and wants us to meet him there later so Eliana can try out her new skis. The thought of driving my two children up that winding road in the snow freaks me out. But the thought of another day inside the house with the two kids freaks me out a bit too.



I miss my sister. I miss my family. It was so beautiful having her and Jonah here. Having Hilary here makes everything feel complete. And now she's gone again.


I tried to embrace the snow yesterday. It really does a number on my emotions. It's like having an exotic foreign visitor who makes me feel really small. So I took myself for a little ski up the Rattlesnake. It was quiet and beautiful and I felt strong as I moved up the trail. I love being on my cross country skis. I felt total peace. The embrace worked.

But now it's a new day and the thought of getting all geared up to go outside is daunting. My time in California feels a million years away. I don't know when I'll see my family again. I hate that. I miss the sun and the ease of having family around all the time. Life in winter is work. Life is work. I feel like I'm still adjusting to this reality.

On the flip side of work, though, is fun. There has been some significant fun happening around these parts. Watching Eliana tear it up on the hill on her sled is fun.


Going in the hot tub is fun.


Snuggling up with my beautiful boy is fun. Playing games and watching funny old movies and cooking is fun. Ordering in a pizza on a snowy night is fun. Drinking lots of coffee and writing on this blog is fun. Talking myself out of the darkness is fun.