winter

We woke up late this morning. I gasped as I read the numbers on the clock and raced to draw Elie from her bed. Sol was still in his dark cave, happily snoring. I wondered what had kept us all so cozy when normally everyone wakes way too early on their own. Then I caught a glimpse out the window. Snow white everywhere. And wild, wild winds mixing it up. I wanted to crawl back beneath the covers. Keep everyone safe and warm and inside forever.


See...I'm kinda scared of snow.

I didn't come from snow. I came from about 75 and sunny everyday. One of my favorite movie occupations is Steve Martin in L.A. Story. He's a weather man who basically reports the same thing every day. There's enough other drama to grapple with in those parts. Weather needs to be a non-factor so people can focus instead on important things like, say, finding a parking space.

Perhaps the reason this morning was particularly jolting is that I just returned from the homeland last week. I brought the kids down to spend some time with our family. My days found me lounging in my mom's pad, eating breakfast on the balcony, power walking in a tank top while Sol and Elie napped contentedly at Gran's. I spent a ton of time with my sisters and parents and enjoyed every minute of every interaction. I love where I'm from and the clan I'm a part of. It all makes sense when I'm there.

Yet it's so very different from where I am now.


Weather aside, down there it's season tickets and movie openings, modern art lined walls, dance classes and performance spaces. There is a humongous family ripe with the love and drama that a humongous family provides. There is really good sushi. And color all year round. Colors in the hibiscus and bougainvillea way, the green, green grass and fat lemony limes that drip from trees.

Here I get to embrace the white, the way shadows and light play to create hues of silver and gray, pine and gold. Here I'm forced to slow down, lest I slip and slide. Here it's time to hunker and bundle and hold.

We were graced with a snow day yesterday. This was a tremendous gift after Sol's atrocious, post vaccine night. Scary stuff those toxins that keep us well. Tuesday was a big day for my students and I had to go in a few hours early. As I nursed Biggie Sols again and again, watching the clock edge towards morning, I wondered how far caffeine would get me, how much I really could rally.

And then daddy gave us the big report. Snow day. No school. No work.

Elie was brave enough to do some playing outside with her papa. Thankfully she doesn't have her mama's prejudices against snow. Doesn't fear super craggy snow-capped peaks. This is what she knows.
My brave little explorer. She tears it up, this kid. She rolls with it. I knew she wondered how long we'd stay in Cali, how long we'd be away from dad and school and our routine. But she created a new routine on the road. Early morning tea and biscuit dates with her Gran. Late night gab sessions in bed with Aunties. Cousin playdates with Piper. Blooms where she's planted, that girl. I'm trying to take a cue from her as I am thrown into this world of white. Don't even tell me the temp when it drops below zero. Let me stay safe and warm, inside. Bake some pies, some cookies. Fold some laundry. Read my book. Snuggle my snuggler. Chase my squirmer. Enjoy this luxurious house that we are blessed enough to enjoy over this Thanksgiving holiday. Thank you Nana and PopPop. Sol's a whole new boy in his crib. Thank you, thank you. I didn't know how desperately in need of space we were until we had some.

For now. My love to my people out west. My love to my people out east. My gratitude to my sister and her man, traveling to be with us. To beauty, beauty everywhere.