my toddler

I think I'm going to be one of those mamas that's nursing her kid when he's, as my friend Jody put it, doing simple addition. I never thought I'd go this way. I remember being in a parent teacher conference the first year I moved to Missoula. The mama had her four year old in her lap. He took a bite of bagel. He looked up at her. Milk? He articulated clearly. And out it came, right on the other side of my desk. Just a little something to wash down the carbs.

I love how groovy Missoula is. I'd never seen the likes at a parent teacher conference in Los Angeles. Hell, the parents barely even showed up to those. I had to wander the 'hood, knocking on apartment doors, trying to get a five or ten minute conversation in while these mamacitas dealt with their tremendous lives, stirred a giant vat of refried beans, five children underfoot in a one bedroom apartment, all big, needy brown eyes, the sound of Mexican radio blaring from the windows above and below.

Here we are blessed in many ways. Have bike trailers and farmer's markets. All claim to be kinda poor, yet all eat organic. Have tremendous educations and bright children. Hike trails out our back doors and then meet in the park for play dates. We spoil our children in our own, extremely attentive ways. And we tend to nurse for a long, long time.


There are quite a few reasons why it could be argued that I wean. Sleep being the first. A bit of autonomy the second. But when I say, "How about a little nurse?" and Sol chuckles like an old drunk, I know I can't give it up. When we've been in the bath but a minute and he dive bombs across my body for my boob and Elie shouts, "Watch out mom! Here comes Soli!" and we all get such a good laugh out of his determination, I wonder how I could ever deny him. This is a kid, too, who eats anything. We're not exactly in it for the nutritional value any more. He gained the weight he needed to gain and I think Dr. J's off my back. But there's something about this one thing. Maybe it's because I know it's the last time I'll use my body this way. My body that is so impressive. The way she works hard and makes milk and goes to a three hour inversion workshop, her core trying, trying to do what it used to. Thank you, humble body. Thank you for serving us all so well.

gorgeous birthday pics taken by Aimee