sisters

Lucy and Eliana have, at long last, begun their little love affair. After six months of ignoring Eliana completely (except to get hideously ill upon her arrival), Lucy now gives Elie kisses and likes to hang out in the same room as us. Eliana is absolutely fascinated with Luz and loves to reach for her and pat her (we're trying to keep her from grabbing too much of Lucy's fur, though that seems to be what's in store). It's nice to feel like the whole family is finally coming together.

missoula in her springtime glory!

mommy's big day

Eliana's mama turned the big 3-4 yesterday and couldn't be feeling more lovely about the whole thing. Even though I had a few friends (...young, foolish friends) who sort of gasped when I told them how old I was, for the most part, it just feels right. If they say you only improve with age, then I do indeed feel wiser, smarter, kinder, more balanced, more of a badass, more consistent and more beautiful than ever before. Most of that swell self-esteem comes from being the mama of the best little sweet sauce in the entire universe. We shared such a lovely family day yesterday, starting at the University for the International Festival (where Eliana debuted her 'Miss Saigon' red suit that mama bought for her in Chinatown), and then followed by a three hour hike on Mt. Sentinel in the glorious, big sky, sunshine. I love my birthday because it means the first day of spring is so near and usually my bulbs poke their heads out of the ground to send me a birthday greeting. Well, the bulbs are poking, the sun is shining, my little girl is laughing and loving and so close to scooting forward, and all is well.


Other birthday highlights include, a splendid early dinner at Scotty's Table with my dear hubby (who rocked the gift this year by buying me a bunch of my favorite musicals on DVD to share with my little one - nothing like a sobbing mommy, smiling through her sentimental tears as she sings "I Feel Pretty" and "The Age of Aquarius" to start a girl's day off right!), a kickin' night on the town with the girls at the Red Bird Wine bar, replete with (2!) Malbec flights, a coconut, lemon cake, and lots of wonderful conversation with some of the best lady friend this mama could ask for, dinner last night with Mort and Roseann at the Finn and Porter, looking down at the river, enjoying a mojito, some loud laughs, and some really good pizza, bath with Eliana (the highlight of most any day), and the last disc of Lost on DVD. Simple is fabulous.

almost there!

the little miss is trying so valiantly to crawl. she works tirelessly every day on her play mat, trying, trying to push herself forward. she can now get up on all fours and then move into this downward dog sort of thing, but inevitably, she propels herself in backwards, circular motions, never really reaching the object in front of her. in this video, i'm luring her with her snazzy radio (thanks dad and mary!). at the end of the video i fold and push it forward - i've always been a bit of a pushover!

intense

I'm starting to realize that my little one is actually quite intense. She is learning to love life, and/or, explain to me exactly why her world is less than perfect at any given moment. She now laughs when I walk in and whines the minute I walk out. Instead of falling gently to sleep in her crib, she scoots herself around, bangs her head into the bars, and tries valiantly to stand herself up (with varying degrees of success, depending on how sleepy she is), before eventually passing out, exhausted and well exercised. I'm not surprised that she's active, nor am I surprised that she's so intense. Physical activity and general intensity are two things that my husband and I have in common. I guess soon enough I'll see what other character traits she gets from us, whether she'll have our curly hair, whether she'll be factual and logical like her dad or creative and emotional like her mama. It seems to be happening all so fast, she seems to be growing and changing daily. She's eating a ton of different things (even had her first bits of daddy's deer roast last night!) and subsequently making lots of "big girl" poops. Soon enough she'll be running around the house, showing us whose boss. For now, I'll continue to revel in her intensity, whether it's the way she opens her mouth huge to feed herself wasa crackers, or whether she's laughing at some crazy song I've made up. The key to keeping up is staying present in our love, our movements, our moments.

a new luxury

it's saturday afternoon, almost 2:00, and i'm indulging. no, i haven't bought a new pair of jeans or taken myself out to a nice lunch. i haven't gone on some victorious hike or been rejuvenating at a yoga class. in fact, i haven't left my house. but i've found a new way to spoil myself - by indulging in eliana. for starters, my sweetheart of a husband got out of bed at seven with the little one and let me sleep until 10:30 (after a funky week of two and four a.m. wake-ups, the sleep was much needed). by the time i got up, elie was already down for her morning nap so i made myself breakfast, took time to drink my coffee, and checked my email. when she woke (with a huge smile at seeing my face looking down into her crib), we played in her room for a while. we sang songs, banged on her radio, sucked on miss spider (well, she did), and ate some snacks. after snacks i realized how disgusting elie was, covered in butternut squash mush and sucked bits on wasa crispbread. so at about 1:00, i drew a bath for the both of us. we played, splashed and soaked. i then nursed her in her chair, not concerned about the time or getting anything else done, and put her down for another nap. the luxury is this. i haven't worried about going grocery shopping or vacuuming our floors. I haven't done laundry or cleaned the bathroom. i've just been trying to be present with my little one, giving her the time and love and focus she so deserves. and in doing so, i find myself settling into the now, this timeless wonder of being in love.