We're officially back at it over here at 1120 Van Buren. School started today and I'm still reeling. After three months of holiday, going back and putting forth the effort and enthusiasm and on-itness and consistency that teaching lil guys requires is quite a shock to the system. Leaving your tyke doesn't seem to get much easier with time (at least as far as going to work is concerned). It sorta felt like stepping back in time. Me sitting at my desk this morning, feeling sick to my stomach because something felt like it was missing. Wanting to call babysitter K every ten minutes and realizing that, in my haste to get out the door, there were a ton of things (including Elie's nap time) that I had forgotten to tell her. Knowing that Eliana would be sharing her time with K with little Soraya and knowing that she might have a rougher run because of it.
I know it will get better. I know we will get into a groove. But the toddlerly girl who has replaced my super chill baby cries and whines and wants to be held by me all the time and it's hard. It breaks my heart and drives me nuts and pulls at my heartstrings and hormones.
Tomorrow is a new day. Thank god it's a short week.
2 comments:
We're going through a transitional time too! Slade is also in the, "cries and whines and wants me to hold him all the time" phase as well. Like you said, its heartbreaking! My heart goes out to you too. Its tough but I know things eventually smooth out and you'll get your groove on soon, as will we (I hope)! Congrats on surviving your first day back at work. Sending much love your way!
what a roller coaster. those transitions are just the shits. hang in there. xoxo
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