friday night

well it's another friday night in the heart of the holiday party season. it's nine forty one. and i'm home. with baby bucket. alone. while i know, completely, that she is so young and so needed by me and only me every evening...i think i felt the loss of the old days tonight. last friday night when we were at yet another xmas party that i left early (well, me and the little lady), i didn't feel too bummed. i was all about her bedtime and being the best mama i can be, etc., etc. but tonight, i felt a twinge of my old self, and felt the loss of not being able to hang for as long as i wanted. perhaps it's because i've been to this particular party for a few years running and have swell memories of rocking out. maybe it's because they have a particularly good spread of free snacks and good wine. perhaps it's because the town was a buzz tonight with lots of things i wanted to check out. yet here i am, blogging, sadly, on a friday night. jeff is still out and, i guess, who can blame him. he's not so needed here and one of should be having fun. and i did belt out my show tunes to the little one like it was nobody's business. i mean, i tried to make the most of our night together once we got home. but i have that urge, that bug, like it would kinda be fun to still be out, still be gabbing, enjoying another glass of that lovely, free wine, catching up with folks i haven't seen in ages. maybe next year.