eighteen months

Tomorrow Eliana will be eighteen months old. Some little things that I could just eat up about her right now:

• The way she loves edamame.
  
• Her intense fascination with the ABC song and that yesterday she called it, "Bee, Si, Dee" and today she managed to put the "A" at the beginning of the title.
• How when she hears Lucy bark at someone outside, she immediately says, "Moanie?" because she so hopes it's her buddy at the door.
• How today she insisted on wearing two pairs of shoes. An old pair of Robbeez that still fit her under big girl, shiny mint patent leather sneakers meant for a four year old. She loved the way they made noise when she walked and she kept both pairs on until bathtime where she reluctantly relinquished them.
• That she can say all sorts of ridiculous words including, "Yoni" (Yiddish, I think, for her privates) and "yoga" when she sees me grab my mat to go teach.
• That anytime she sees the kittens in Goodnight Moon, she presses her cheek to their picture and says, "Ahhh, meow!" When she sees the bowl full of mush she says, "Noatneal."
• When she sees or hears Jeff come in from work she shouts, "Dad!" and runs towards the door with her huge grin.
• The way she pats me on the back when I'm holding her, as if to reassure me (and she always does).
• The way she feeds Lucy one kibble at a time, but always makes sure to transfer that one kibble in the reused yogurt container that we use as a scooper.
  
• That she reads to herself in the backseat whenever we drive.
  
• Her obsession with her Baby and her Night-Night.
• The matter-of-fact, unapologetic way she says, "No."
  

Of course, on the flip side of that list, are some incredibly frustrating new tricks. But I kinda love those too. The way she hates to be in the stroller or the backpack because she always wants to walk (even in two pairs of shoes). The way she insists on climbing on to the dining room table and completely know that she's testing our patience. The way she said, "Oh shit" this afternoon (though I have to admit it was the sweetest sounding, "Oh shit" I'd ever heard and a true shout out to her daddy).

So there it is. I can't even says she's growing up too fast anymore because it seems to be even faster than that. I seem to continue to grow right along with her. I've said a few times recently that I really don't know who I was before I had this baby. I mean, I know who I was. I know what I enjoyed doing and what I was passionate about. But all of that is so miniscuale compared to how I feel about my girl. And how I feel about my role as her mama.

Eighteen months certainly doesn't seem like a long time. Good god, I can even remember when I didn't get how pregnant ladies and mamas with babies always counted in months. I've never been so hot at math. I just figured I'd never keep track so precisely. But it was evolution. The natural desire and ability to think in months came with my intense ability to focus on all things Eliana. It came with 50 plus pounds and a sudden desire to have an organized spice cabinet. It came with big boobs, leaky boobs, milky boobs and now, no boobs. It came with snaps and sleepers. And board books and bubbles. And more goodness and patience and determination and dedication and contentment and confusion and compassion and love than I ever knew I was capable of.