into the new

I heart, "You Tube." Mainly cuz I'm a closet musical theatre junkie and I can watch all sorts of poorly recorded clips sung by my favorite NYC divas (and divos!) My sister Hilary is also really swell at getting me clips from, "Fame" and, most recently, "Double Trouble" to help me feel super nostalgic about the good ol' 80's and the truth that is legwarmers, headbands, and breaking out into song whenever necessary. But the ability to watch random video clips at any given time has also found it's place in my child's heart. It started out with an obsession over India Arie and Elmo singing the Alphabet Song. I have to admit, if I'm gonna have to listen to that song countless times a day, India Arie's version is certainly the way to go. And Elie saying, "Elmo? India? B C C?" is pretty damn sweet, a request that's hard to deny. I kinda love that she's on a first name basis with India Arie.

And there's also the video clip of her dancing with Moana on inauguration day. That isn't exactly You Tube, but, you get the idea. She could literally watch it like twenty times in a row. "Again? Again? Moanie? Eliana?" she asks. God I love how she says her name. She says it with such pride. So I press the play icon again and just stare at her and smile. She wiggles her little shoulders and torso as the Indigo Girls sing, giggles when she lands up on the floor at the end of the clip.

And then another sweet, media moment happened. She has taken to loving the Michael Franti, "Obama (Yes We Can!)" video. I don't know if it's because it's on Casey's blog post where her dancing with Moanie is, but now instead of saying, "Again?" every single time after we watch her clip with Moana, she'll shake it up with a request for, "Obama? Yes? Obama?"

It seems Obama-mania has even made it's way into my little eighteen month olds heart.

Of course, I could watch Michael Franti til the cows come home and love her watching all the people, all the colors, all the goodness come to life on the little screen.

I am pretty certain that I was the kinda pre-baby gal who vowed that her kid wouldn't watch music videos. Or Baby Einstein for that matter. But, there are a lot of hours in a day with a toddler. There are only so many times we can read, "Hop on Pop" and "Moo, Baa, La, La, La" before we both get a little bonky. And I know what a fool I was for the videos I was allowed to watch as a kid. I can't imagine my childhood without, "Xanadu" or "Mary Poppins." I can't imagine going throughout grade school without sneaking into my parent's bedroom at any given moment to watch Madonna slink around on a gondola in a Venetian canal or Ric Ocasek buzz around like a bee in the Cars, "You Might Think" video. And we don't even have TV reception in our house today. It certainly didn't turn me into a junkie. Enough with feeling guilty about every little thing already!

It's a new world for my girl and for her mama. I'm ready to start to take this mama thing a bit more lightly. It's been an intense eighteen months. And I know I'll never love or care for anything as much as I love my girl. My heart is certainly in the right place. But I kinda have to relax.

Tomorrow this mama is hanging hard with the ladies, Montana style. What started as a "weaning weekend" with Joellen turned into a 17 mama posse, cross country ski, Jackson Hot Springs adventure. I am so excited I can hardly stand it. While these past two nights home with just Els (Jeffy is out of town for work in the Flathead), have been nothing but sweet, I know how important it is for me to venture out. And, truth be told, January has been a pretty tough month. The lack of sunshine. The cold temps. I kinda feel like I had a re-Saturn returns since it's been 2009. Big shit has come up with lots of the most important people in my life. And while it is all important to process and deal with, it's exhausting as all heck. Pour that emotional intensity into the blender that is second and third graders, dance classes, dinners to make, kitchen counters to wipe, and, most importantly, little Pea sticks to play with, and you've got a hell of a lot on your plate.

So here's to mama's gone wild! Here's to soaking and yammering and red wine. Here's to welcoming the new and getting on with it already!