copious

we live in a culture of fear. that has become all the more apparent to me since becoming a mother. all during pregnancy, books, people, websites tell you all the things that can go wrong and somehow harm the baby during the course of your babies gestation. don't eat this, don't do this, don't buy this because any one of those things will result in your baby somehow not being okay. one woman in my small town apparently said to another, who then told me (again, this is a really small town) "i hope gillian isn't dancing. if she's dancing, her baby will come out bow-legged!" i mean, this is serious stuff. then birthing the baby welcomes a whole new set of worries. for me to deliver my child at a birth center, with no anesthesiologist and no icu and no doctor was a huge no no to some folks (after doing it, and doing it quite fantastically, i can't believe that i ever felt afraid). then, of course, having a baby opens up a whole new set of don'ts. don't bring her into the sunshine. don't eat hot peppers or onions or garlic or she may become colicky. and don't become too stressed out or you may stop producing milk. well this one, at this point, for me personally, is the silliest one i've heard yet. i am a copious milk producer. my little baby shall not want. in fact, we are currently trying to figure out a solution to the involuntary "milk showers" that mama is giving baby. poor thing needs to be bathed after she's fed because mama inadvertently gives her mega milk shots left and right. the first time my nipple sprung a leak and squirted madly at my baby, i didn't even recognize it, it seemed so strange. i thought a transparent, gossamer thread was somehow connected between my breast and my baby's cheek. i tried to remove this thread and indeed was able to put my finger right through it, like something out of the movie 'ghost.' i still didn't realize what it was - that is truly how foreign this little situation was for me. then i realized and felt like such a silly new mom! of course, that is a little milk squirt. i wiped elie's face and laughed at myself. well now those incidents seem to be occurring with more frequency and muchisma mas leche. sometimes my little girl gets started on the nipple slowly. she takes long, luxurious sips and doesn't suck too hard, just warming up to the event. well my body is apparently not too into the warm-ups. i shoot milk like mad making her splutter and spit, and fall off the breast in an uncomfortable, messy panic. then my wild ducts decide to keep on trucking. this morning three ducks open fired on little sweeties face. i was sitting on the sofa and didn't have any of my nursing comforts around (little wash cloths or burpy cloths or even a tissue for this sort of thing). not knowing what to do, i kind of stalled while milk squirted like crazy on to her forehead, into her eyes, on her little fuzzy head, until i realized that i had to make it stop. i grabbed the edge of my tee shirt and applied direct pressure to the nipple, just like i learned in girl scouts when stopping a cut finger from bleeding. i then used the edge of my gauchos to wipe up eliana, who looked a little shell shocked, but then broke out into a little smile....i guess if anyone wants to be covered in my breast milk, it's probably her!