just the two of us

i am one of those rare women who has been able to stay home with her baby and husband. jeff and i are both teachers which means we have the luxury of enjoying our summers together and fancy free. while this summer was unlike any we've ever had (no exotic, foreign travels, no mega road trips, no outdoor adventures BUT one truly splendid, better-than-the-rest birth and baby experience!), it was similar to others in that neither of us worked. until today. at six thirty the alarm went off and jeffy did his thing to get ready for the first day of school. and i can't tell you how happy i am that i didn't have to be a part of it. you know, it's funny. i had a premonition about this first day of school. i don't have many of those - premonitions. but when i have them, they seem to be strong. last september on the first day of school, i was walking to work. i walked under this big cottonwood that i always pass beneath and i had the strongest sense. the sense told me that this was going to be the last first day of school for me for a while. it told me that things were going to change this year - my life as i knew it would change. a month later i was pregnant with eliana.

i've held on to that moment quite a bit. i truly believe that i was absolutely ready to have a child. for months before jeff was ready to try and conceive, i thought and dreamed about having a baby. around springtime last year, thoughts about baby became almost an obsession. i remember one weekend when joellen, brianna and i went to goldbug hot springs for a backpacking weekend. joellen has a child (two now) and brianna doesn't. bri doesn't even have a boyfriend and is the epitomy of a modern, single woman. it seemed the conversation of babies and families kept coming up. and, of course, joellen and her husband, bobby, were dying for us to have a baby because they knew they would be starting on their second soon (and as luck would have it, eliana and jiah are only four days apart!) it was the first time i really felt that shift between a single friend and a married friend, a friend far from wanting a family, and a friend who already had one.

so that's a tangent. and somehow i ended up with not just one friend with a new baby, but a whole, fabulous handful. in fact, when i wrap up these morning words, i will start calling around to see what mama and baby couple wants to go for a walk with us this morning. or maybe we can make a lunch date. or maybe just rap on the phone about breast pumps or sleep patterns. because i am officially a stay-at-home mom this week. i may only have two months of it, but i plan on making them absolutely fantastic.