going the extra mile

last night, eliana had the worst night she's had in a long while. i don't want to gripe, as i know i am blessed with a pretty amazing sleeper. but really, when i review the events of the day and evening, i realize that the upheaval really had to do with the fact that i didn't hang in for the long haul, that i didn't go the extra mile. while it seems somewhat counterintuitive, my baby sleeps better at night if she has slept well during the day. that means that i have to a) walk and hike a lot to keep her moving and sleeping in the sling or front carrier, or b) stay planted on the sofa or in the rocker - hopefully with a good book (though i've taken to reading just about anything that is within arms reach - we cannot always plan for these long periods of sitting still).

yesterday we just pushed it a bit. we had lots to do after jeff came home from work (the doggie, bless her insane heart, had her first visit with the acupuncturist, after seeing every vet in western montana to cure her cacophony of strange ailments post baby), then it was to the courthouse to renew our vehicles, yadda yadda. nothing exciting. nothing fantastic. but lots of getting in and out of the car for baby, waking her from her desired slumbers. then last night i started a new yoga class, so daddy got to watch baby for an hour and a half, again, disrupting her little schedule. but it was after yoga that did the deed. i thought of myself.

it's getting chilly here in montana. after sweating and, lest i forget, leaking a fair amount of breast milk on my clothes (through the layers and everything!) i came home to a cold house. we don't have the heat on yet (mama isn't working full time!) and it's not that cold yet. so i nursed eliana, sang a whole cd's worth of showtunes, and there she was, finally asleep. i popped my pinky in her mouth to break the suction, and gently placed her in her little bed. i then promptly drew a very hot bath and began gathering reading material for a nice, long, much needed soak. my muscles were actually used. my nipples were raw and chapped. my hair hadn't been washed in days. i deserved it. but, then again, i was only thinking of myself, not the needs of my little lady.

so when eliana woke up, oh a good three minutes into my luxurious bath, my dear husband took care of her. this meant getting her out of bed, singing to her, engaging her, and generally distracting her from the fact that her beloved best friend, the boob, was not around. what then happened was the little missy got a bit overstimulated. overstimulated and overtired. so then it took from about eleven to two to nurse her back into submission (and you wonder why my nipples are raw...). and then she wasn't really settled in her sleep. she's got these incredible leg muscles and she's lately really into pumping her legs wildly while lying on her back in her little bed. she is also really into the movement of her head. she can roll it from side to side really quickly (a bit like a bad stevie wonder impersonation). she does this, too, while lying on her back in her bed. so with little miss get in shape girl pumping her legs, tossing her head, and making her most frustrated and fussy little cries, it was a long night for the family.

but this is the good part of my story. lucky for me, i have help. while i did then stumble out of bed this morning completely befuddled and confused, put the wrong pump pieces on the wrong breast pump and promptly spilling precious drops of morning breast milk on the sofa, then tried to sterilize the pump pieces in a vat of homemade pesto sauce (i just assumed the pot was already filled with water!), i knew that help was on the way.

i've been putting in a few hours at work this week, trying to get eliana and myself prepared for when i go back in november. and there they were, like two beacons of radiant hope, like superheros in their capes, eliana's grandparents. roseann walked in with a basket of our perfectly pressed laundry (this is when those of you with parents far away and a new baby need to stop reading because i feel incredibly spoiled). morty got settled in the rocker where i handed him the sleeping beauty. the transition was smooth and the baby didn't stir. roseann then put on her rubber gloves and hit the kitchen, which was an absolute disaster (remember all those breast pump pieces!). i quickly snarfed down some food, brushed my teeth for the first time in a while, and put on some colored chapstick (i was "going to work" after all).

after a quick two hours, i found myself back at home. the kitchen was immaculate. amazing. fantastic. the baby was still sleeping. i felt a wave of relief wash over me. i felt filled with gratitude. i understood how blessed we were, all three of us, to have this baby in our lives. she brings out nothing but the best in everyone.