Maybe I haven't really been paying attention. Or listening. I certainly have selective hearing. Or maybe my friends don't complain. Or they're insanely patient and zen. But I don't remember hearing enough about how hard having two kids is.
Don't get me wrong -- we're doing fine. I called in my mom for emergency support and she's been on Happy Sad duty, which is awesome. But it seems each day has it's moment. Today it was when Solomon woke up from a monster nap starving right as Eliana's was disintegrating into an almost nap meltdown. I kicked the door to her room open (subtly....) with my foot in frustration, her screams filling the hallways. Solomon had barely had enough to eat and I had just settled into the quiet calm that is nursing him. My new favorite past time. As I stood over Elie's crib trying to sing and calm her down, my hungry newborn on my shoulder, breast milk began to soak the front of my dress. With each tear of Eliana's, my milk spilled further, hitting my bare toes like raindrops. This is that two kid moment, I thought. This is so hard.
And I have help! My friends have been amazing and have volunteered to watch Els so that I can have quiet time with the babe. She so needs social interaction beyond us and is super excited to be with her buddies. Plus I have my mom here. And I have an incredibly helpful husband. So why the hell am I bitching?
I sit here typing this and realize why people don't complain as much as I think they might. Because while those moments are tough, ultimately, the whole picture is beautiful. I have two tremendous, healthy, strong children. They love me and need me and I can provide for them. Both. I am blessed in so many ways. Soggy dress and all.
3 comments:
Ohh...dear Gillie...after #2 was born I complained so much my sisters had to nicely tell me to shut up! Ouch! It hurt. Adjusting to #2 was probably my hardest adjustment emotionally. Man, it was tough. So, I hear ya! It is hard! Soggy dress and all. You're a great mom and you're doing a great job! Hang in there. Laura
most of my friends with two have all said that the first few months are the hardest . . .forgot to mention that por telefono today . . .
appreciate your honesty so much--good to chat and hear little man in the background! xoxo
Amen, sister!
I have found so far that it's the moments when both kids need me (or both are crying) are when it hits me the hardest that being a mom of 2 is, well - hard!
Especially when you know the little one is getting a bit shafted out of the quiet, uninterrupted nursing bliss that big sis got!
I'm with you. It trips me out that our children are almost exactly the same ages! So fun to peek in on you and yours, Gillian.
:)
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