eliana's making peace with her crib. mom's not having the same luck...so eliana rocked the crib again last night. she fell asleep at 8:30 and slept soundly until 1:30 in the morning. i gave her these holistic teething table thingamajiggers, perhaps that helped. or maybe she's just getting used to her own space. the unfortunate thing is, her mama isn't. i lay in bed wide awake from about 9:30. finally around midnight, i decided to go out into the living room and read and stretch, try to settle myself down a bit. i knew i was feeling the loss of her, missing her, as she slept on, on her own. then at 1:30, i heard it. the little cry. i leaped off the sofa with excitement. finally. it was like i had been waiting for it, like i couldn't complete handle the fact that she was able to sleep on her own, in her own bed, in her own room, all alone. like i can't handle her growing up. now i know why the pre-school mom's hover outside of the classroom door the first week of school. it's all about letting go.
so i nursed her and hung with her a while and then tried, even though my heart wasn't at all in it, to help her get settled back in her crib. but after some fussing and crying, i scooped her up, and brought her to our room. she and i both slept, eliana safely in my arms. at least one of us is learning to sleep on her own.
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