exhaustion

we've had a great weekend, but for some reason all of the sudden i can hardly keep my eyes open. it's only eight o'clock and it's not like we've done a ton today. had breakfast at the catalyst, that was super and elie was a little rockstar in a papoose. then came home and nursed and rocked and sang and slept. jeffy and i managed to take turns holding the sleeping beauty and tidy up the house a bit. then we walked around the park and, feeling inspired, decided to go for a longer walk in the rattlesnake. all good, normal, things. i don't know if it's the hazy, smoky air or the fact that we finally have a breeze and a cloud cover after all these hot days, but, i tell ya, i am pooped. maybe it's three weeks of interrupted sleep or the general sense that at any time the little lady could get gassy and we could be in for it, but i think i could go to sleep right now. i'm making all sorts of typos just trying to get all of this down.

anyhoo, she did have a stellar night yesterday. we went to a friend's barbecue and she was as congenial and as well behaved as ever. we actually stayed out til about ten or so and then she excellently nursed and managed to settle herself down without too much trouble.

back in the the now, i am watching jeff hold els with one hand and then pet miss lucy with the other. he's trying to get lucy to be more interested in her sister, i think. lucy is ferociously protective of eliana, but she isn't exactly trying to be her bff just yet. looks like elie is awake and alert and content with her day. maybe i should use this time to take a shower or a nap or scrub the toilet or something productive, but typing and watching my husband and daughter and doggie sit on the deck by the big barrel of flowers i planted earlier this summer is happiness enough for me. this is my new kind of productivity. the productivity of just being.