here's eliana teaching me how to be zen...today i am existing in the timeless wonderland that is new mamadom. it's kinda cool if you learn to surrender and just let it happen. it works if you don't have things you think you need to get done and if you let go of the notion of accomplishing much. i guess sustaining a little life by breastfeeding all day is plenty important, it's just a far cry from the things i used to think were "important" or "pertinent" or "necessary" in a day. it's actually extremely good for a city bred girl like myself, someone who grew up thinking that sleeping past seven on a saturday morning was being lazy, to learn to chill out. and that's just what miss fancy pants does for me. today we have...hmmmm...well, she's fed a few times, and we went for a walk around the park, and we visited the gang at the school and...um...i am actually reading a novel which is a huge breakthrough after re-reading dr.sears again and again...i folded some onesies...oh, and this is big, i decided what drawer breast pads should live in (i've never had to house such things before - now i feel like a pirate stashing treasure).
and then there are the moments in our timeless wonderland that i live for. like when elie does her eva peron impersonation and lifts her arms up as if addressing a crowd of excited argentineans from the balcony of her palace. or when she does her wacky bipolar routine and changes her facial expressions rapidly, lifting her head in between personas as if possessed by some inner demons. or when she poses like a young brooke shields, hand under her head, body side-lying and sort of lifts her eyebrows as if to say, "come on, just be mellow, mom!"
we are still trying to figure out what sort of "schedule" works for miss eliana and what sorts of things we can do during the day to keep her happiest. it seems that she's happiest lying down with her head on my boob which kinda keeps me from doing a whole heck of a lot, but, hey, this is what i signed up for.
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